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Senator Hubris Protects the Nation

Senator Hubris delighted his refined palate with another mouthful of sea bass before recognizing the aide who nervously stood at the end of the table, “Yes, what is it Walter?”
“We have a State Department request to wipe their emails from all your accounts,” Walter looked nervous and upset. “You also have a call from the Palestinian ambassador.
“So? Give me the phone.” Hubris swallowed, grabbed the phone, and looked away from his perspiring aide. He placed the phone on the table , next to his plate. The sea bass looked much more interesting.
“The Ambassador is waiting to talk, but the State Department request is really important. We have quite a few classified emails from that department and, well sir, seems that the FBI is looking for past correspondence.”
“My messages are none of their business and they should know that,” Hubris inspected the roasted pigeon breast, probing the delicacy with his fork. “Damned State department should have protected themselves better, or do what I do. I use Hotmail and take advantage of the free WiFi locally available. Everyone has a public account.”
“Uh, yes sir, it has been done before, but investigators are looking for messages that have high classifications and potentially damaging content,” Walter looked at the phone laying on the table and sweat began to drip from his forehead.
“So go ahead and clean up the emails,” Hubris talked around a lump of breast, “clean it up and don’t bother me with any more details.”
“The ambassador, sir.”
“Yeah, I’ll be right with him,” Hubris discarded his aide with a wave of his fork.
The aide left in a rush but an elderly, grey haired man, took his place.
“Have a seat Senator,” Hubris half stood, putting both hands on the table. The table groaned in protest and the senator plopped back into his chair. He used his fork to point at the chair opposite his seat. “Are you here for lunch too?”
“No, I just had breakfast,” the man took a seat and nodded to the waitress, “but I can drink a small glass of iced tea, please.” The man inspected Hubris through horned rimmed glasses, “You’re getting too fat, Hubris.”
“One of the risks I’m willing to endure for the betterment of our country,” Hubris burped a reply.
“I just wanted to make sure you take care of business concerning this classified information debacle,” the gentleman’s demeanor became more demanding.
“OK, what’s the real problem?” Senator Hubris hesitated, holding a loaded fork in the air.
“Some of the information made available is really critical and will cause grave damage to the nation.”
“What?” Hubris waved his fork, “Am I in danger?”
“Uh, I don’t think so,” the man sipped his tea.
“Whew,” Hubris emptied a loaded fork into his mouth, “Had me worried. I don’t plan on visiting New York or Chicago, or even L.A. for that matter. I thought we made sure all the military bases and places were labeled on every map. I won’t live near any installations.”
“It’s not just national targets that are exposed,” the guest continued, “international targets and protective capabilities to include intelligence gathering can allow, and even support, terrorist acts or other disturbances that common people might find offensive. Our constituents might think we are not protecting the country by putting citizens at risk. You should be prepared to respond to such allegations.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Hubris washed down a piece of layered brioche burnished with truffle butter. “I got the points down. The most dangerous people hate their mothers, poison our planet, starve the poor, steal wages, and war monger around the world.”
“Don’t forget to call them racists too.”
“Damn Republicans,” Hubris laughed. “While you are here, though, I may as well tell you that the State Department has failed to get our allies on board…again.”
“Specifically?” the visitor leaned forward in a confidential manner.
“Japan has outright refused to establish an auto plant in Syria,” Hubris shook his head.
“Europe is jumping on the Iranian market but we need to give more jobs to the extremists in order to extinguish the caliphate problem,” the visitor sat back in his chair with a sigh, “I guess we’ll have to rely on global warming to take them out.”
“China isn’t going to help either,” Hubris explained, “They have, somehow, copied our technology but still have trouble in their own job market.”
“Leads me back to our State Department problem,” the visitor leaned forward again. “The commoners think our classified information should be protected to the extent of actually punishing those who fail to protect our national secrets.”
“As well they should,” Hubris blustered. “Any yokel will be imprisoned for exposing secrets. Justifiably so, I may add. But, of course, that doesn’t include any of us, harrumph!”
“They just don’t understand their place. Good to see you are on board with guarding the members of our community.”
“Always glad to disseminate justice upon those we serve,” Hubris sat erect while speaking with a feeling of true patriotism.
His visitor left and Hubris put the phone on speaker so he could continue eating while talking to the ambassador, “Yes, Permanent Observer, how may I help you today?”


Written by poyhonen

August 26, 2015 at 4:27 pm

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